What Totally Happened
by WarriorOfByzantium
Summary: During the Great War, Ulfric and Galmar were holed up in Cyrodil. In order to be captured, Ulfric was most probably using the tunnels to smuggle information and supplies back and forth, which of course means they would meet our beloved Zombies... ONESHOT. Reviews are appreciated.


**By WarriorOfByzantium & ChildOfMars**

Ulfric hacked around with his battle axe and sword, killing off zombies by the tens, "When I left my home and came here to defend the Empire, I did not expect to end up fighting their long-dead ancestors!"

Galmar grinned wolfishly as he swung his huge double-handed axe, chopping down a host of enemies, "You know what they say about our Draugr...you just can't keep a good Nord down!"

"But why..." Ulfric said. He sliced off a head and quickly beated his way through a crowd of groaning, tumbling corpses that kept pawing at him, "Are they in the SEWERS?!" He finally pulled free as Galmar hacked them away. He slammed his back against Galmar's as they fought their way along the tunnel, clearing it out "I mean, what do the Imperials use their sewers for, anyway? What are all these dead people doing down here in the first place?!"

Galmar smashed a zombie's already-smashed face in, "As long as they stay dead this time, I don't really care."

"I can accept that perhaps half the population is too lazy to move further than the nearest manhole to bury their dead. I could even accept a tunnel lined with skeletons. But why are they walking?" Ulfric turned as several reinforcements of Nordic volunteers rushed down the opposite tunnel and surrounded the zombies, whooping like it was a Talos party. He paused to politely cheer them on before turning to Galmar with a serious face. "Are the plumbers all Necromancers? I admit, it would be an excellent place to practice their illegal black magic. Do you think we're in danger? Will they betray us? Shouldn't the Emperor know?"

Galmar grabbed Ulfric's shoulder and slung him against a wall just as a zombie lunged at where he might have been. The poor fool instead ended up impaled on the spike-tip of Galmar's battleaxe, who prompty used his boot to shove the creature off. He helped Ulfric up and gave him a look that meant pay-attention-and-shut-up. "If the city survives this war, I will personally help you bring your complaint to the Council. Until then, keep your blade up!"

"That I will." Ulfric said, placing his hand on his head, "But I still can't understand how this happened?"

Ulfric and Galmar heard a loud rumble from the end of the tunnel, followed by an evil laughter, "You'll find out sooner then you think." They turned to see a high elf in a black necromancer's robe. He had green hair flowing from his head. They watched as he lifted a staff high in the air, "Kill them my children!" he shouted erratically. He twirled and danced about like a crazy man, while a fresh hoard of angry zombies came pouring down the sewers.

"Quickly," Galmar shouted to his allies, "Everyone form a defensive square."

"Divines save us!" cried a wimpy Nord. He knelt down on the ground in despair.

"Keep your axe up." Galmar commanded, "Here they come!"

The angry mob of zombies clashed against the Nords. It was a brief fight, and soon all were slain save Ulfric & Galmar, who battled heroically atop a mountain of corpses "There's too many of them" Galmar grunted, "We have to get topside as quickly as possible."

"There's no way out..." Ulfric said, "I'm afraid this is the end my friend."

Galmar kicked a zombie down on the others, stalling them for a few precious moments. He nodded sadly, "It has been an honor."

Ulfric and Galmar prepared themselves for the end. The zombies climbed the hill towards the last of the living. But then... they suddenly heard a rumble, and then miraculously, part of the roof collapsed on some of the zombies.

And then... a single man jumped down from the ceiling. His bright red cape swirled through the air as he did so. He had long grey hair that flowed over his bony shoulders. He landed and slew the remaining zombies majestically. The necromancer ran back to his hideout, forever remembering this fateful day. The man wiped his Imperial Sword with his cloak, looking at Ulfric and Galmar as he did so, "Come on soldier, you know we don't have all damn day."

"General Tullius?" Ulfric said, the sweat dripping from his brow, "How?"

"Pure military strategy." Tullius barked, brushing the dust off his shoulders. He flexed his muscles casually, "Come on now, we still have a mission to perform."


End file.
